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Keep Going

by Courtnee Fallon Rex

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rikm "Keep Going", is a remarkable showcase of Courtnee Fallon Rex' talents as a songwriter and performer. Featuring both originals and covers, each song is presented with a sparse and haunting arrangement, a choice that leaves ample room to showcase the limitless power of her remarkable voice.

I've been a fan for a number of years now, and listening to "Keep Going" I continue to be amazed by the immensity of Fallon Rex' talent...
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    Get all 5 Courtnee Fallon Rex (Courtnee Papastathis/Not Applicable) releases available on Bandcamp.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Cold Front, Decatur, Keep Going, Embodied: Live in Seattle, and Autochthon. , and , .

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1.
Wounded 07:43
Your mother taught you loving is sacrifice, do for others more that you can Your sister showed to properly hate yourself, and how to take a punch like a man Oh you’re wounded Just like me Wounded Your father he instilled his doubt in you, everything you’ve done’s in the wrong. Think your feels into a hiding place, now stirring to the sound of this song You’re wounded Just like me The patriarchy made you know everything, your whiteness always kept you ahead Maneuvering this world from your niceness mask, leaving all your shames left unsaid You’re wounded Just like me They festered and corroded and they took control, thriving in the lack of the light. Your pain has turned you into a coward, child, to my rape you've apologized. Oh you're wounded Just like me You’re worth healing for Just like me Wounded boys Pretending to be a men You don’t know what fuck's going on But it's your choice Giving up or giving in to The paradigm that's oppressed us all I'm letting go of all of my hope That you'll ever decide I'm worth healing for You're worth healing for You're worth healing for
2.
He left no time for regret Kept his dick wet With his same old safe bet Me and my head high And my tears dry Get on without my guy You went back to what you knew So far removed from all that we went through And I tread a troubled track My odds are stacked I'll go back to black We only said goodbye with words I died a hundred times You go back to her And I go back to... I love you much It's not enough You love blow and I love puff And life is like a pipe And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside We only said goodbye with words I died a hundred times You go back to her And I go back to... Black
3.
Psychogirl 05:51
No, I'm not a saint but I meditate My anger doesn't suit me like it used to I’m strong and I’m weak and so lovely you'll feel like a king If I choose you I’ll take you through a world you can’t imagine my words become the whispers in your night and through your turgid limb I take my action Swallow Swallow Oh, I’m not a saint but I meditate My angst doesn’t rule me like it used to I’m calm and I’m sweet and so, love me you’ll feel from the things I do to you But leave me and I'll burn your fucking house down I’ll skin your dog alive right at your feet La da, da da da da da, da da da da Swallow Swallow When I gave you my sex I handed you my trauma Call me your good girl Say I’m your good girl Call me your good girl I’ve been a good girl
4.
Black Widow 05:50
Trapped in your martyrs embrace Conditioning wants you this way Don’t leverage your strength to be the change Your violence, it gives you a way In your dance Your dance So ageless and agile's your noose Framing your face under sooth While longing to suffer my abuse When I don’t like myself with you So we danced We danced How we danced How we danced We danced How we danced Let’s dance.
5.
I was a heavy heart to carry My beloved was weighed down My arms around his neck My fingers laced to crown. I was a heavy heart to carry My feet dragged across ground And he took me to the river Where he slowly let me drown My love has concrete feet My love's an iron ball Wrapped around your ankles Over the waterfall I'm so heavy, heavy Heavy in your arms I'm so heavy, heavy Heavy in your arms And was it worth the wait All this killing time? Are you strong enough to stand Protecting both your heart and mine? And who is the betrayer? Who's the killer in the crowd? The one who creeps in corridors And doesn't make a sound My love has concrete feet My love's an iron ball Wrapped around your ankles Over the waterfall I'm so heavy, heavy Heavy in your arms I'm so heavy, heavy Heavy in your arms My beloved was weighed down My beloved was weighed down My beloved was weighed down My beloved was weighed down
6.
There is a house in New Orleans They call the Rising Sun And it's been the ruin of many a poor soul And God I know I'm one My mother was a tailor She sewed my new bluejeans My father was a gamblin' man Down in New Orleans Now the only thing a gambler needs Is a suitcase and trunk And the only time he's satisfied Is when he's on a drunk Oh mother tell your children Not to do what mine has done Don't spend your years in sin and misery In the House of the Rising Sun Well, I got one foot on the platform I've got one foot on the train And I'm heading back to New Orleans To wear that ball and chain Well, there is a house in New Orleans They call the Rising Sun And it's been the ruin of many a poor soul And God I know I'm one
7.
Say something I'm giving up on you I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you Anywhere I thought I'd follow you Say something I'm giving up on you And I Will stumble and fall I'm still learning of love From nothing at all And I Have swallowed my pride You're the one that I love And I'm saying goodbye Say something I'm giving up on you I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you Anywhere I thought I'd follow you Say something I'm giving up on you Say something
8.
Hey you Out there in the cold Getting lonely getting old Can you feel me? Hey you Standing in the aisles With itchy feet and fading smiles Can you feel me? Hey you Don't help them to bury the live Don't give in without a fight Hey you Out there on your own sitting naked by the phone Would you touch me? Hey you With your ear against the wall Waiting for someone to call you Would you touch me? Hey you Would you help me to carry this stone? Open your heart I'm coming home
9.
I'm tired of pretending what you did wasn't rape I'm tired of making creepy shit be ok With me So I'm writing this song Calling you out I'm calling you out I've been hoping too long You'd get some help Some psychological help Cause fucking me while I was so drunk I couldn't stand up Negotiate no condom on a boundary I'd held steadfast for a year That's rape Push your way inside of me I'm so dry disinterested I'm curled in a fetal pose I'm glassy eyed and silent That's rape Yeah, that's rape OH! Finger me while I'm asleep but never even asking If it was ok with me Well honey, there's a word for that. It's rape. Fuckin' rape. See it took me far too long to figure this out Been so full of doubts How we're playing, it's fucked up And I'm calling you out Calling you out. So just in case you're not pickin up what I'm puttin down I'm done with all you Rapey McRaperson rapers who rape Nah. It's not a date. Yech. No thanks I wont pussyfoot around it I'm angry and fed up with softening my language around this shit fuck it it's rape The veil is raised What I'm saying is I'm done helping you out By keeping my mouth Shut (Full) Don't believe me, look it up for yourself Look it up for yourself (Wow they actually wrote that down somewhere?) YEAH! RCW 9a .44 .050 Never. Again.
10.
In my mind I’ll be the picture of discipline Waking daily at 6am To mediate like clockwork And I'll face each day with exuberance Never fucking up anything And I'm someone I admire And it’s funny how I imagined I would be that person now But it doesn’t seem to have happened Too emotionally unwound to be The person that I had hoped was me In my mind All my thoughts are compassionate Saintly, patient and tolerant And I'm always a good listener And in my Intellectual here and now I've become in control somehow And I never lose my temper And it’s funny how I imagine That I think anything like that. Naw, I’m self righteous and reactive Judgy smackdowns I enact And I see I’m never gonna be the person I’m supposed to be It’s my mind This incessant perfectionist That has gotten me used to this Impossible expectation But I've been exploring my consciousness With messy passion experiments And I’m learning to revere me And it’s funny I still imagine That I could be so perfect now But that’s not what I want, if that’s what I wanted I’d be backtracking to hell It's plain to see That I don’t want to be the person that I want to be In my mind I imagine so many things Lofts and houses and wedding rings And when they put me in the ground, I'll start pounding the lid saying "I haven't finished yet. I still have a-show to direct. That's about living in the moment’." And it's funny I still imagine that I could win this winless fight But maybe it isn't all that funny that I've been fighting for my life But maybe I have to find it funny if I wanna live before I die And maybe it's funniest of all to think that I’ll die before I ever finally see That I am exactly the person that I'm supposed to be Fuck yes I’m exactly the person I want to be
11.
Your mother taught you loving is sacrifice, do for others more that you can Your sister showed to properly hate yourself, and how to take a punch like a man Your father he instilled his doubt in you, everything you’ve done’s in the wrong. Think your feels into a hiding place, now stirring to the sound of this song You’re wounded Just like me The patriarchy made you know everything, your whiteness always kept you ahead Maneuvering this world from your niceness mask, leaving all your shames left unsaid You’re wounded Just like me They festered and corroded and they took control, thriving in the lack of the light. Your pain has turned you into a coward, child, to my rape you've apologized. Oh you're wounded Just like me You’re worth healing for Just like me Wounded boys Pretending to be a men You don’t know what hell's going on But it's your choice Giving up or giving in to The paradigm that's oppressed us all I'm letting go of all of my hope That you'll ever decide I'm worth healing for You're worth healing for You're worth healing for

about

CFR's inarguable coming of age project, Keep Going (2015) is an aurally-pleasing soft rock album about patriarchy, rape culture, and heartbreak. Solidly rooted and lyrical, these songs illustrate the direct acknowledgement and rejection of a previous life of amatonormative struggle marred in vagueness and ongoing denial. Indications of the silly punk songs to come on Cold Front (2018) can be heard in tracks like RCW.9A.44.050 (The Rape Song), and in this album there is a distinct absence of CFR's ambient wheelhouse of previous works. If Cold Front is the unpretty, recently-whole queer nonbinary feminist finally telling the patriarchy to go fuck itself, Keep Going was the collection of half-woke siren songs that angelically gave it the chance to pull its head out of its own ass, first.

credits

released February 14, 2015

Vocals, Guitar, Ukulele, Violin, Accordion, Keys, Album Design,
Sound Engineering, Recording: by Courtnee Fallon Rex

Final album mastering: Aaron Marshall of noct.us

Album image of Courtnee Fallon Rex photographed by Chris Clark

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Courtnee Fallon Rex (Courtnee Papastathis/Not Applicable) Seattle, Washington

Creator ~ Performer ~ Mender ~ Destroyer

Former purveyor of "emo Enya vocal landscapes" as Not Applicable / n.a / Courtnee Fallon Papastathis of mp3.com and notapplicable.org

If you're looking for the old stuff like Convergence, Divergence and Threshold, check out the album Autochton.
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