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In My Mind (Amanda Palmer)

from Keep Going by Courtnee Fallon Rex

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about

I covered Amanda after a very interesting experience meeting her. blog.neevita.net/archives/tag/afp

lyrics

In my mind
I’ll be the picture of discipline
Waking daily at 6am
To mediate like clockwork

And I'll face each day with exuberance
Never fucking up anything
And I'm someone I admire

And it’s funny how I imagined I would be that person now
But it doesn’t seem to have happened
Too emotionally unwound to be
The person that I had hoped was me

In my mind
All my thoughts are compassionate
Saintly, patient and tolerant
And I'm always a good listener

And in my Intellectual here and now
I've become in control somehow
And I never lose my temper

And it’s funny how I imagine
That I think anything like that.
Naw, I’m self righteous and reactive
Judgy smackdowns I enact

And I see I’m never gonna be the person I’m supposed to be

It’s my mind
This incessant perfectionist
That has gotten me used to this
Impossible expectation

But I've been exploring my consciousness
With messy passion experiments
And I’m learning to revere me

And it’s funny I still imagine
That I could be so perfect now
But that’s not what I want, if that’s what I wanted
I’d be backtracking to hell

It's plain to see
That I don’t want to be the person that I want to be

In my mind I imagine so many things
Lofts and houses and wedding rings
And when they put me in the ground,
I'll start pounding the lid saying "I haven't finished yet. I still have a-show to direct. That's about living in the moment’."

And it's funny I still imagine that I could win this winless fight
But maybe it isn't all that funny that I've been fighting for my life
But maybe I have to find it funny if I wanna live before I die
And maybe it's funniest of all to think that I’ll die before I ever finally see

That I am exactly the person that I'm supposed to be

Fuck yes

I’m exactly the person I want to be

credits

from Keep Going, released February 14, 2015
Written by Amanda Palmer
Performed by Courtnee Fallon Rex

Ukulele, Guitar, Accordion, Vocals, Keys by Courtnee Fallon Rex

Recording, Arrangement, Sound Engineering by Courtnee Fallon Rex

Final album mastering by Aaron Marshall of noct.us

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Courtnee Fallon Rex (Courtnee Papastathis/Not Applicable) image

Courtnee Fallon Rex (Courtnee Papastathis/Not Applicable) Seattle, Washington

Creator ~ Performer ~ Mender ~ Destroyer

Former purveyor of "emo Enya vocal landscapes" as Not Applicable / n.a / Courtnee Fallon Papastathis of mp3.com and notapplicable.org

If you're looking for the old stuff like Convergence, Divergence and Threshold, check out the album Autochton. ... more

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